This week I collected questions from people interested in shifting their mindset and changing their lives. I chose two to answer in this creative, off-the-cuff Q&A because I think they are so delicious and juicy.
My intention with this Q&A is to share the power of ontological coaching–life coaching from you who are being–and what it looks like to peel away the layers of the stories and limiting beliefs that hold us back.
Similar to my live coaching session, if you are thinking about hiring a life or leadership coach, this is a great place to start, I share a behind the scenes look at the types of questions clients ask, and take it from there.
If you find this is helpful, I’d love to hear what questions you have, email me here. And if you are ready to see what’s possible for your life, career or business, let’s have a session to see if we are a match. Sign up here.
During the Q&A, I want to invite you to listen to what ah-ha moments you may have. What resonates with you? What insights do you see for yourself and how they relate to your life or career?
Q1: “I have so many ideas, I don’t what to do first, why do I feel so stuck?”
Let’s unpack this because it’s twofold. “I have so many ideas, I don’t know what to do first.” and “I’m stuck.”
So the “I’m stuck” is actually a result of having the too many ideas. So let’s start with having too many ideas first. I work with many creatives in the branding and marketing industries, ideas are going come, that’s what they’re paid to do that’s why they are in creative leadership positions. The true question is: how do I test the ideas quickly and with certainty?
I have a litmus test that I use when these ideas show up. These are 3 questions I ask clients to determine whether that idea is something to move forward with.
Does it launch you out of your comfort zone?
Does it ignite you on fire?
Does it make an impact?
Then it’s a yes.
It’s an idea that you should try on and move to the next phase.
Second part of that question, “I’m stuck. Why am I so stuck?”
This is a beautiful opportunity because the definition of stuck happens in our mind. It’s the inner critic that’s telling us, “You can’t do that amazing thing that you just thought of, you don’t have enough contacts, you don’t have enough time, you’re just not that valuable. Who are you to think you are?”
All of these voices in our head berate us. Funny thing, once you actually take action on that thing that you were thinking about doing, that big, brilliant idea, that same inner voice comes in from the other side. “I can’t believe that you didn’t do this sooner! God, why did you wait so long?!”
Right? It’s a no-win situation.
That inner voice is getting you from both sides, that’s why you’re stuck. So, the practice is to listen outside of that story. The practice is to take on a different inner voice.
I give Playing Big by Tara Mohr to many of my female clients. Tara does a beautiful job of breaking down the inner critic voice and the inner mentor and shares how we can practice listening to the inner mentor more.
Q2: “How do I simplify my life? I’m just so busy.”
We are all busy in different ways and we all have different definitions of what it means to simplify. But in a basic manner, I would ask you, “What do you really want? What do you really, really want in your life? What is going to make the biggest impact for you?”
Make a list of what you truly desire, and what you don’t. Take a look at your calendar, where are you falling in, or out of line with that?
On this list of things you don’t want, who can you get to support you to do those things?
Do you need to hire a VA?
Do you need to use a different calendar system?
Do you need to put an out of office email on weekends?
Do you need to get your groceries delivered?
Do you need to hire a cleaning lady?
All of these things are to get support, to give you more time and energy, so you can land more consistently over on the side of what you really, really want. Sounds a little bit like a Spice Girls song, but it’s true!
We all have obligations and responsibilities, as human beings in society, as leaders, as business owners, as people with jobs who need to make a living, I totally get it, there are things that we have to do. But is it what you really want? Is it what’s going to simplify your life? Is it what’s gonna ignite you on fire and make an impact? You can take those three Q’s from the first answer and apply it to this one as well.
I hope this was helpful for you, this was a lot of fun for me!
If you’re interested in diving deeper into what’s next for you, book an introductory coaching session with me.
This is your invitation to transform your tomorrow.
