What role do you take on in the Drama Triangle: victim, rescuer and abuser? How do you react when you feel wronged or things don’t go your way?

Do you take on the victim role, thinking “Oh poor, poor me. There’s nothing I can do about this. Why does this always happen to me? I can’t catch a break!”

Are you the rescuer? You look at everybody else and think, “Oh, my my MY sister, let me help you out of this mess, don’t you move, I’ll save you.” For all you people pleaser’s out there, ever notice that your actions are rooted in the fear that you may not be needed? Do you overextend yourself–depleting your energy and bandwidth–to help people?

Or, are you the abuser? For example, notice when you try to control everything and everyone in your life at the cost of deep relationships and sharing your vulnerability. Do you find that you are never wrong and easily blame the weather, your aching back or your co-worker for that thing that happened? Perhaps your inner bully comes out when you’re stressed and lashes out at the people you love the most.

You can be any combination of these personas, and they all fall into the category of a victim mentality–one that does not take personal responsibility for your own actions. Hey, listen, I’ve taken on every one of these personas during the pandemic. I’m a victim when it comes to my time. “Poor me, I never get any alone time!” I play the rescuer role with my husband, “I can sense you’re stressed because of work, don’t worry, I’ll go to the store, get dinner, do the dishes, and put the kids to bed. Don’t worry, I’ve got all of this handled.” I’ve also played the abuser, mostly with myself…I try to control everything to feel like I have a sense of normalcy while the world is upside down, when in reality, control leaves me depleted and in a low energy vibration–which inevitably attracts more low energy vibrations—so I try to control things harder. Ridiculous cycle when you take a deep look, right?

And, there’s nothing wrong with the drama triangle’s personas, unless you are harming yourself or others, instead it’ a mindset to gain inner awareness and insight from, and take action to reframe your intention, all personal development work is inner awareness to become more of who you want to be.

What happens when you step out of the Drama Triangle and into a Personal Power Triangle?

Victim to Creator.

You are a creative soulful leader, use your creative consciousness to step out of the drama, set an intention for who you want to be, and stand in your personal power.

1. Notice your mindset
2. Set an intention
3. Stand in your power

Declare who you want to be. I am someone who pursues creativity everyday. I am someone who finds the best in every situation. Saying “I am” statements alerts your conscious and subconscious self that you are, indeed, capable of being that person. Then start to look for clues from the Universe that you are living your intention. Be. The Cause.

Rescuer to Healer.

Instead of trying to save everybody to prove that you’re right and have ‘it handled’, use your creative consciousness to believe in yourself and others. The rescuer becomes the healer and coach. Be a stand for empowering questions and enable people to heal themselves. Don’t give answers, simply ask questions, give people their power back by toning down your default reaction to rescue. Believe me, people are stronger than you think if you give them the chance.

Abuser to Mentor.

Instead of trying bully and control your way to the top of the food chain, set an intention to evoke change and growth in yourself and others. You’ve got the inner knowing and expertise, use it to mentor and share. Rise up from the ashes and become a source of inspiration and support.

Simply notice your language. When you have the urge to say, “No, do it this way.” Use the improvisational tool of “Yes, and” “That sounds like an interesting idea, and what else would you like to do? Yes, let’s do it, and what else?”

If this mindset flip feels a bit daunting, I get it. There’s no one who has as much stress or takes on as much responsibility as a high-performing people, people who are already at the top of their game and are craving more inspiration and motivation with joy and ease.

Seek support to set daily intentions which will generate massive personal power from your creative consciousness. Just think, this time next year, who do you want to be? What step do you need to take to create that way of being tomorrow?

READY TO SPARK CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE AND LEADERSHIP? 

Being a magnetic and intuitive leader has its challenges, but here’s the truth: your potential is bigger than what you currently believe. This is your one-time invitation to transform your mindset of what’s possible for you. Book your introductory coaching session with Lisa today.