Lessons from My Commitment to Show Up LIVE During the Pandemic
Hosting 22 presentations during the pandemic teaches you a thing or two – namely the power of commitment, cultivating confidence, and the impact we make when we operate from a place of courage.
The pandemic has been a balancing act between my frightened ego and trusting myself. I teetered between:
- Hiding and showing up
- Fear and Comfort
- Scarcity and Compassion
- Righteousness and Intuition
- Us and Them (them being conspiracy theorists, people posting unmasked group photos on Instagram, or the person in front of me in line at Costco with not 1 but 2 shopping carts)
- Tightness and Tenderness
As a creative and transformational leadership coach, I relied on my training to stay self-aware. But, even that left me on my bed crying or disco napping as my kids struggled to learn zoom and Seesaw apps. So. Many. Apps.
I found myself meditating, praying more, and laughing hysterically at the most ridiculously childish memes…anything to escape my nervous anxiety.
Turn Your Anxiety into Purpose
As I meditated, I’d think,
- “What should I do?”
- “What’s my role in all of this?”
- “How can I be of service?”
In my heart, I’m a guide for myself and for people interested in leading a creative soulful life. I help them find their personal commitment. And, I rely on my inner knowing to show up fully, without hiding.
Without knowing exactly what my intuition was leading me towards, I committed to showing up. What I needed most in March of 2020, was a light, a direction, a purpose. So I created it. I turned the light on in myself and shared with others so they could see the light in themselves.
Commit to Your Inner Knowing
On March 18, I hosted my first of what would become 22 live presentations over 9 the next months. What a commitment!
Over 2,000 people attend the presentations. And when you add in my partnerships with organizations like the IAWomen and American Marketing Association, that number shoots above 3,000.
I threw my heart and soul into the research and content creation. It was a calling. It was my intuition and heart on display. I was committed to showing up and being seen.
Believe me, I spent time hiding too. My evenings were spent with my husband on the coach with a glass of white wine and Netflix. We watched Tiger King. I yelled at my kids. We bought too many rolls of toilet paper. I told myself I didn’t have enough time. But I continued to schedule the presentations, sometimes not even knowing what I was going to talk about until the day before.
It was a defiant act against my ego and instead choosing trust in my purpose. This was my way to give and share.
The 3 C’s: Commitment, Confidence and Courage
Commitment is work. I didn’t know what was at the end of the commitment, but that’s the faith and trust. The practice of trust in my inner knowing that something bold and meaningful will unfold when I show up and bring all of me to my commitment.
And guess what? You have a light inside of you that’s looking for a way out. Give it a pathway and show up for it.
My ego was loudest ten minutes before the presentations. Instead of falling victim to the voice of “Who are you to talk about…?!” I practiced staying connected to my body with breathing and movement meditations. My go-to song was Aloe Blacc’s “I’m the Man” (yes, I recognize the irony). After the presentations, my confidence was the highest.
Guess what? Confidence comes after you do the scary thing, not before.
Did I save anyone’s life? No. Was I a hero? Absolutely not. But the space I created and held for others made a difference. Over the summer I received a handwritten note (yes, a real pen to paper moment!) from someone. She wrote,
Little did I know that on a random Friday, my life would change. But it did, and it was because of you.
There has been a thin layer of tension I’ve felt all my days, this urgent need to look with X-ray eyes through things and make them better. So urgently have I felt the need to suggest, to correct, to inspire, to contribute, to mend, to guide that I have often felt the pain that comes when others don’t see what you see, or worse, they don’t care. There isn’t enough space in the world to house the passion I feel inside for possibility, for exploring wonder.
Then I attended your Friday Coffee + Coaching Session and I was knocked off my chair. Literally, I sat back in a state of shock.
It’s not my job to fix or save people. I couldn’t believe it. My eyes blinked twice to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. But the visual in your presentation was still there. A that pie chart that I have taped to my desk. My heart is free.
It’s not my job to be perfect, to always hold it together, to have everybody like me, to do it all, to fix or save people or to please all people. You see, I thought it was. ALL OF MY LIFE.
I am so grateful for that moment of truth which enveloped me with the suddenness of cold air rushing forth through an open door. It was that emphatic and sensorial. And it was all because of you.
Sincerely, (her name)
I’m going to share my journey of commitment, confidence and courage with you.
What worked, what didn’t, my mess ups, and how I am showing up regardless. My intention is to be a light for you to shine bright.
I know that you have a burning desire in you that wants to see the light of day, I know you want to use your gifts with purpose and intention. My high hope is that my journey will give you ideas and insights as to who you are and who you want to become.
If you’re interested in diving deeper into what’s next for you, book an introductory coaching session with me. This is your invitation to transform your tomorrow.